Recently, someone asked the reason I choose to paint as an outlet. In order to answer the question I have to share the background information that is necessary to understand the reason I love art. One memory that remains vivid in my thoughts is a diary I was given as a birthday gift for Halloween. I wrote all these personal stories that included some of the most private details of my life. One day I left my diary on my bed and when I returned I found little pieces of my diary torn up on my bed. In that moment my heart dropped because I knew that from that moment on my understanding of life changed. I was overwhelmed with shame because my privacy and trust was tarnished for life. At that point I proceeded to internalize every trauma and life experience until I found my new voice.
I first fell in love with the paint brush in the seventh grade around Christmas of 1997. I remember feeling like the paint was a pencil and the canvas was the paper. The only difference between the pencil and paint brush was the limitations were boundless in my opinion. When I used the pencil I was limited to using words to express myself. When I picked up a paint brush the only limitations that existed were in my imagination. I felt I could express the feelings in my heart and the images in my mind freely. I felt empowered by the ability to turn a thought into a masterpiece. It was in that moment I realized I could create a piece of art , reflect on it’s beauty, and find inner peace.
I give so much of my heart and time to my art. Sometimes, I just wonder is it a reason I feel so compelled to create such beautiful works of art. When I see my artwork sometimes I become overwhelmed with emotions because I am taken back by the level of skill I have shown. It is such a blessing to have a gift at times it feels surreal. Sometimes I wonder if I have a relative or a spirit guiding my artistic nature. Is there a reason for this all this passion and where did it come from?
As of today, I am taking full responsibility for my actions and choices. I have power within myself that needs to be released through art. I am so thankful someone asked that question. It made me remember a very bitter sweet moment.
If you have any questions about my art or myself….please contact me via email or on my Instagram @Artistchic